This whole week all I’ve been seeing are couples. Couples on the left making out, couples on the right holding hands, giggling, and making cute faces at eachother, couples in front of me sitting together. 

I absolutley hated it :( 

It made me miss Luis more than ever. I haven’t gotten one of these weeks, but I hate those days when all you want is your lover, and all you see are other couples happy as fuck together :( 

And to TOP it off, everyone I spoke to today told me how they are going on a date with their boyfriend :( 

I haven’t been to the movies in MONTHS. I want to go with LuLu :( 

Wah baby, why do you gotta be so far away from me :(((((

Usually I’m strong…but I guess sometimes it just gets to you.

Sigh, I miss you Luis come here.

And next week on Valentine’s Day is his birthday, then a week after that it’s fine. I never cared for V-Day. But it’s my baby’s birthday…so I only wish we got to do something special. 

I can’t wait to make up all this time we’ve been apart. I love you Luis. And I miss you more than anything. :(

I am going to move to New York next fall and start school . In the few days I have been here visiting my dad I fucking love it. I love the people. I love the cold, though I’ll get used to it. I love the craziness. I love how people just double-park. I love how much honking there is. I love seeing all types of people. I love the feeling of knowing I can take the train, and go to the city, and then I can come home, and have it be a tad bit quieter. I love their clothes. I love their shops. I love how my sisters will be five minutes away. I fucking love everything about New York. 

But my mom will be in CA, and I will miss her more than ANYTHING in the whole wide world. I already miss her now, and the thought of being permanatley far away from her kind of scares me :( BUT ……

AS MOST mportantly, I LOVE that my dad lives right on the coast of Brooklyn, so I can see the bridge from the window, and New Jersey. I’ll literally be 30 MINUTES away from Luis and like 20 miles away or something, rather than 2995 Miles away. I feel like THIS is where I am SUPPOSED to be! 

I hope that everything works out and I either get accepted into NYU or Pace or something like that. I want to move here. Can it be Fall 2012 yet? 

In a long time we got into a fight. We never have fights, except my “why don’t you call me rants” but We always tell each other everything and when we disagree we talk it out nicely, playfully fighting. But the last time we had an argument was a year ago. We argued about what languages our kids will speak at home. And then we talked about our religions and since then we have ignored our crappy, conflicting religions. 

But today he was REALLY upset. He goes to this community college in Jersey, and he has to take an English Class. But in order to go on to the next level, he needs to take a test. Even though he was getting an A in the English class, he got a 6.5 on the score that two anonymous readers gave to him, and he needed a 7 to pass the class. It irritated me because they base this DUMB test over the whole class. Now this is the SECOND time he has recieved a 6.5 . And the second time taking the exam. His professor is being a dick and doesn’t want to petition for him to get it re-evaluated. Ugh. So Luis has to re-take it, and if he fails he gets kicked out of the school. He has a fucking 3.6 GPA. But he would get kicked out because of a DUMB English class. WHAT THE FUCK. And now he doesn’t get financial aide and he is stressed. So I was trying to help him out, and he was like “UGH you’re not fucking understanding me” and hangs up. I was so mad. But I knew he was frustrated. He never hangs up the phone. Never. It made me so sad that I was trying so hard to help him, but he was getting madder. 

So I called his school to ask about the class and they were being rude, and I called his financial aide to check. 

Then he called back and acknowledged the fact I was helping him and apologized. I guess what I am trying to say is, is that in LDR’s it’s easier to just ignore the person. Because you’re only form of contact is pretty much through the phone. So when I tried calling him back it was easier for him not to answer. But what we have to realize is that we are there for each other no matter the distance. I wish I could have been there to kick his professor’s ass, but also to just comfort him. Not kiss and do that stuff, just hug him, and tell him in person it’ll be ok. I can’t wait to do that stuff. 

I love him more than anything, and I am seriously willing to do anything just to be with him. I want him more than anything, and he just needs to understand that I will be there no matter what, even though not physically but still. I want to be with you LuLu. Soon <3

I’m beyond ecstatic. I want these finals OVER! And next Saturday to mother-fucking come FASTER <3

Oh and I’m going to see my baby hoppppefulllllllly and I’ll see my Dad in which I haven’t seen for 5+years. So yeay. Oh and I’ll be in my future home town :DDDDDDDDDD

I’m just going to flat out and say it. I want Luis. I want him and his sexy body to be all on top of me. I don’t care. I’m sexually frustrated as FUCK. WHY must you be so far baby? We are going to make up all the love-making we have missed out on SOON I hope. 

I want your lips, and your arms all around me, and you on top of me, and EVERYTHING.

:( 

Instead I have to go finish my college applications. Lame. 

:( 

OH MY LORD WE HAVEN”T DONE THIS IN DAYS! We are playing online checkers, he is telling me about his family and we are just having SO much fun!!!!! 

Ah I looooooveee my baby <3

So a while back I posted saying how I was kinda jealous and happy for all the couples and about how all the couples who were getting to see each other or finally meet , and I was like “oh my gosh guys, I can’t want to have a post about this, like a countdown to see my baby” 

WELL GUESS WHAT! The countdown starts TODAY :D I booked my flights to the East Coast, and I am FINALLY seeing the love of my life <3 

I am going to shower him with kisses, hugs, love, EVERYTHING. I can’t FUCKING wait. My dreams are finalllllly coming true :) After a whole year and 4 months dating, we are finally going to be together. <3 Holy shit. This is so un-real. 

I’m going to NY to see my dad, and then he’s going to up from Jersey for some days to spend in the city. Holy shit. CAN THESE WEEKS GO BY ANY FUCKING FASTER? 

So for the next couple of weeks expect my excitedness to be coming out of this blog. No more sad days. JUST happy days. 

OHHHH Happy days <3 I’m going to take pictures, and post them just like all the other LDR’s to show hoow amazing out love is <3 And how me and my baby made it, and all those negative fuckers that continuosly bash on LDR’s can go suck on it :) 

So the whole day I’ve been jumping up and down since I booked my flight and told him. And I randomnly catch myself smiling, and my mom thinks I’m crazy, oh and I do these weird random excited girl screams. 

Okay going to go study for my Midterm :D I’m SO excited to study :) It means ONE day closer to my baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 I can run 500 miles with my energy. Ok, maybe not. BUT STILL :D 

1 MONTH left, :D:D:D 

I love you Luis , and I can’t WAIT to finally be with you.

AND oh, for those who have YET to see their loves, or meet them, or anything HOLD ON, this WILL happen. I PROMISE. You can make it <3 If me and all these others did, sure as HELL you can :) <3 Keep your heads up, oh and SMILE!

breathehopeinmyvagina:

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Wow. How fucking stupid. You don’t know what people go through. Who are YOU to tell people what their relationship is? That’s some dumb crap. Yeepee for you and your girlfriend to see each other. Now don’t go telling people that their relationship isn’t real because they haven’t met. So don’t fucking judge other people and go telling them that just because they’ve never met. I hate people like this. People who go around saying shit when they haven’t even been in that situation. Keep your shitty opinions to yourself. Yes Tumblr is about expressing yourself and you’re proably going to say “It’s MY BLOG so I ca say WHATever I want”. I don’t fucking care if YOU think you can say whatever you want. No one wants to hear your bullshit negativity. -____________- 

(via breathehopeinmyvagina-deactivat)

I miss him. I miss him so much. I haven’t heard from him in a week. He’s been sick, and busy and I wish I was there to take care of him. So that does not equal a good equation. I want to see him. Kiss him. Hug him. Be with him . 

I love you baby.

I hope you are doing well. I know you’re at work too but I just wanted to say: it’s crazy cold in California, I shouldn’t even be complaining, because you’re in Jersey and it’s like snowing there, but can you come here, so we can cuddle and stuff? I’ll make us hot chocolate, with marshmallows just how you like it. And we’ll lay on my couch, and we can watch The Office together , oh and we can kiss, and I can be in your arms, and we can laugh and oh the things we can do. Oh and to warm things up we can have love-making time ! Perfect. 

But in reality I have to go shower so I can go to boring old work. 

P.S, I love you oh and miss you duh . 

-Sincerly, 

your girlfriend who misses you 24.7 and wants to be with you so bad <3 

I told him that he needs to get his ass on MSN tonight so we can figure shit out. I’m going to let out all my feelings. Ask all the questions I want. Make sure that this relationship is SERIOUSLY worth it. I’m tired of waiting for you. Only wishing and HOPING that today you “might” call me for a few seconds…and then my hopes are crushed when you don’t even bother to reply to a text. I have been inspired. I want you to know what you mean to me. What this relationship means to me. What you do to me. How you make me feel. I’ve loved you since the day we met. That was a year ago. I have dreams of marrying you one day. I have dreams of living in a beautiful house together, and having our adorable children running around. I imagine you coming home from work and kissing my forehead like you said you would always do. How you told me you would bring me flowers sometimes randomly. How you said before you left work you wanted me to walk you to your car and kiss you, and wish you a good day at work. But when I think of all this stuff, I always keep in the back of my mind you might not want that anymore. At least that is what I feel like. Your lack of commitment, and effort to this LDR is making me sad. YOU said we would make it work. YOU said distance didn’t matter. I was skeptical of being with you…because I was afraid that you would do the things my ex did. Such as ignoring me. Forgetting I was your girlfriend. 

I always make time for you. Make time for me like you used to. Let’s make this work. We have ONE more year to go, then we can be together. PLEASE don’t give up on us now. Now when I have completley fallen in love with you. Not when I cry for you. Not when I only want YOU.

You’re my Luis. I want you to forever be my Luis. I miss you. And I love you…I just wish you would realize it sooner.

I know it’s wrong. But I try not to be. But fuck, I really am. I’m jealous of people who get to see you all the fucking time. Talk to you whenever they want. They don’t know how LUCKY they are. 

I Want To Cry. I want to be with you. Why are you in New Jersey. Why am I in California? Why can’t we just be together.

You know today, I met this girl. And we were sitting in class, it was a group of us. We had finished our exercise. And then we came to talking about different things. Then she noticed a my ring, on my ring finger. I mainly put it there because it feels more comfortable because I am right handed and it bothers me on my right hand so I put it on my left, and plus it’s a statement of “I’m taken”. Well to me it is. So she asked me if I had a boyfriend, and quite happily I replied “yes”. And she’s like “oh cool, does he go here?” And I explained to her no he doesn’t. He lives in New Jersey. And she’s like, “oh”. Then I kind of got angry, and I’m like, what do you mean, “oh”. And she’s like, “well technically you aren’t really together. So he’s not even  your boyfriend, I find it odd how you call him your boyfriend when he’s not even here”. I was shocked about HOW rude she could be. I wanted to punch her face. I swear. I kindly explained to her that, yes he is my boyfriend even though we are seperated. And she kept chuckling and going, “no really he isn’t, find someone here, stop being stupid”. I looked at her, said, ” i dont give TWO fucks if you don’t think he’s my boyfriend. He IS my boyfriend, I love him NO matter the fucking distance. Yeah, I miss him like crazy, and just because we don’t see eachother, it does NOT mean we are NOT in love or AREN’T boyfriend and girlfriend. Then I said, I hope one day you and the love of your life get speerated. I know that is SO mean to say, and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. But I hope to God it happens to you, so that you can see it doesn’t MATTER the fucking distance”. Got up and walked away. 

I don’t know HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES I run into idiots like these telling them my boyfriend is REAL or that my relationship is real. The next time someone says, “are you in a relationship” or “do you have a boyfriend” I’ll say “yes, and the rest is none of your business, I’m happy so fuck off”. Well, maybe not the “fuck off ” part But still. 

I’m mad. It’s always the days where I miss Luis the most. That idiots like these spring up, being so fucking rude. Like where are your damn manners. I don’t care if you’re being HONEST, but shit, have some limits. 

I’m just going to go cry myself a river and cry.

I Love You Luis. I don’t care what they say. We WILL be together one day. FUCK what they think. 

Only to see it’s my Dad or something. Not my Baby :( So I don’t even bother answering cause I’m too disappointed that it wasn’t my Luis.

Then I call who ever called me and am like, “oh, I didn’t hear it. Sorry”.